This thing called self-love

I remember being that little girl wrapping a towel and sometimes a sheet around my head pretending that I had long, beautiful hair.  I pretended it blew in the wind, reached down my back, and most definitely didn’t have a neck full of beady beads.  For a moment, I was one of the girls on TV that I’d often here those around me watch and say, “She’s pretty, she got that good hair.”  It was clear that if those beautiful girls on TV had  “good hair”, I most certainly had bad hair. It was uneven, broken-off, unmanageable, and most frequently referred to as the infamous “nappy” hair.

These standards of beauty have been so narrow, and quite frankly boring. Embedding insecurities in our beautifully melanin children before they are even aware. Growing up I was the girl with the broken off hair hiding under a glued in weave (obviously causing more damage), a pug nose, dark circles around my eyes, big boobs, and a whole sponge bob ass.  Guess what sis, my nose is still greeting people, those raccoon eyes still have me looking like somebody got the best of me, tried to cut the boobs off and they keep coming back, and yeah I’m still team no ass at all.  It is what it is, and every “flawed” feature is what makes me who I am.  Unique, cute, weird looking, beautiful, fat, ugly, sexy, thick…Guess what it’s in the eye of the beholder. Ask a room full of people and you are going to get some different answers. But no matter what someone else thinks of you, what you know about yourself should be consistent, solid, and unwavering. You are beautiful and uniquely made, and no one can do you, like you can.

Baby gurl, happiness comes from within. We have to unlearn the narrow views of beauty that society, family, friends, and even our significant others have placed on us. Embrace every perfectly “flawed” feature.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a sistah walk in a room and demand attention with her confidence. Yes, there’s usually a hater or two who can’t help but say something like “she think she’s cute.” Well isn’t she supposed to? And guess what, she caught your attention whether you think she’s attractive or not.  CONFIDENCE will have people intimidated by your presence, wear it well! Never let someone else’s opinions alter what you know to be true about yourself.

Beauty is skin deep. No matter what we try to alter, hide, or lose…Guess what, our heart is still the same. You can be the most beautiful person by society standards but if you don’t have good character and treat people with DIGNITY and respect, that internal ugliness will weigh thick on the outside. We have to learn to heal from the inside out. That means stop masking our insecurities and deal with them, stop thinking if you change your looks it will increase your happiness. Soul search. Truly determine what brings you happiness, and I mean those things that don’t involve someone else. Cultivate your God gifted talents, seek your purpose, meditate, read, travel, experience new things. Fill yourself with things money can’t buy.

Now I’m not saying don’t invest in things that attribute to your confidence. But be solid without the extra. Know that you are uniquely made.  Learn to really love the skin you’re in!